One of the biggest honors there is in life is to be asked to be your friend’s Maid of Honor on their special day. But if you’re a brides who has trouble narrowing it down to just one, this article is for you.
Can you have two maids of honor?
While not traditional, it is absolutely acceptable to name two people as your maids of honor. You might want to consider this if you love two people equally and don’t want to choose just one of them. Or if you know your first choice maid of honor isn’t able to attend some of the major wedding events.
Modern brides don’t need to subscribe to any traditional wedding rules, and the bridal party is no exception. There are some brides these days who are choosing to honor more than one of their closest friends as the maid of honor. Because they simply love both of them equally and want that friendship represented. Or if you have two sisters (or a sister and bestie) who would couldn’t imagine choosing between, this is a great way to not put one above the other.
Struggling with your guest list as well? Here’s a flow chart on who to invite to your wedding.
Some brides might struggle with the idea of having to choose between two of their nearest and dearest. While others might struggle with the idea of asking two people. You might be worried one of the others will feed snubbed. But if they’re truly your friends they will just be happy to be there for you.
Here’s everything you need to know (and some information to set your mind at ease) about having two maids of honor in your wedding.
Why it’s okay to have two maids of honor
I say, the more the merrier! I’ve been seeing brides ask more than one person to be their maid of honor and it’s worked out really well. There are a few reasons this is a great idea, and there are so many ways to do it.
To start, here are some reasons it’s perfectly fine to have two maids of honor at your wedding.
You don’t need to worry about hurting someone’s feelings
If your friends are really your friends, they will want to be there for you in any capacity on your wedding day. They will also probably already know that you have two special women in your life who you would have trouble choosing between to be maid of honor. By choosing two people, no one’s feelings get hurt. And both your best friends get to be involved in planning with you.
No need to worry that someone will be jealous about sharing the spotlight. This is an honor that is a good one to share as it typically comes with a lot of responsibility.
They will be able to support each other
While being the maid of honor is fun, it’s a lot of work. Having two of them makes the workload a lot lighter! There are now two people to plan and execute the bridal shower and bachelorette party. As well as two people to help you plan other parts of the wedding.
And there are pluses for you too. If one of your maids isn’t able to make the bridal shower or rehearsal dinner, you’ll have a back up ready to stand in.
You can honor someone with the title who is unable to perform the MOH duties
There are lots of reasons why someone special and close to your heart may be unable to perform the traditional maid of honor duties. They live far away, they don’t have a large budget to participate in your wedding, they have a disability that prevents them from acting as maid of honor on the big day, they’re too young for the responsibility. Whatever the reason, you may want to bestow them with the title but split the responsibilities between two people. Having two maids of honor is a great way to play to each person’s strengths.
How to Have Two Maids of Honor
Now that you’re comfortable asking two people to be maids of honor, here is how to do it!
Make sure you really want to have two maids of honor
There is no rule written in stone that tells you how you’re supposed to handle your maid of honor situation. So the choice is really up to you, but you want to be absolutely sure that it’s a good fit for your wedding and that it’s what you want to do. You don’t want to get stuck in a situation where you realize one of them was a mistake and you regret your decision or need to ask one to step down.
Get both candidates acquainted
If they aren’t already, introduce them to each other! It’s important that the two maids of honor build a great rapport. This will help them plan out the details smoothly. It’s fun to make it an event, so maybe take them out to coffee or for a spa day together. This gets things off to a great start. And avoids potential awkwardness later.
Set expectations for each maid of honor
It’s important to share with them both why you chose two maids of honor. As well as how special they are to you and what each on should expect to share or divide and conquer in terms of responsibilities. This type of conversation is a good idea even if you only plan to have one maid of honor. I have a detailed post on how to set expectations with your maid of honor. But it’s essential if you’re having multiple MOHs.
You wouldn’t want them to be surprised that they aren’t solely taking the reins. Or questioning why they didn’t get top billing or how they’re supposed to split up the duties. It should be clear from the beginning. And if there are any hesitations or questions, you can set things straight before the drama takes over your wedding.
Have them plan wedding events together
This is pretty obvious for the maid of honor, but if there are two it can get a little complicated. Make sure they understand what they should be planning together, and what they can split up. Regardless of who is owning what piece of the responsibilities, it is a good idea for them to check in with each other and work together on all major events. Their ideas for everything from the engagement party to the night before the wedding should be planned with both of them working together and sharing what their plans are.
Allow them both to stand out as special members of the wedding party
You want to make sure guests know that they are both the maid of honor. To make sure they do, you should ensure that they both stand out from the other bridesmaids. This could easily be done by having them wear a separate color dress. Or have them both choose different colored dresses from the other bridesmaids and each other. Whatever way you choose to do it, make sure they stand out!
Looking for other ways to make your wedding more memorable? Check out these ideas.
Have them walk down the aisle in a special way
This might go along with helping each maid of honor to stand out, but it’s important to note this as well. When your bridal party walks down the aisle, have them walk in a special way – whether it’s with each other or each by themselves, the way they come down should signify that they are both very important parts of the party.
Have them both make speeches
This tends to be a soft spot where having two maids of honor is concerned. But honestly, it usually works out! By having two maids of honor in your wedding, you should have them both make speeches.
Bianca was one of two “women of honor” at her high school best friend’s wedding. Initially she felt like having two people make speeches would cause an issue or an awkward moment in the wedding. But it was actually one of the best parts of the night. “We were both worried about each giving a speech – we didn’t want to tell the same stories, or worry that one speech was going to be better than the other. But we actually ended up going over each other and realized we both had different experiences as a friend to the bride, and everyone loves both of our speeches! It was a really fun part of the night.”
Or if your maids of honor are shy about public speaking, they can make a joint speech. This may ease some of the pressure that comes with giving a public address.
Having people involved in your bridal party is a fun time for everyone. It’s a time to not only celebrate you and your future spouse, but it’s also an amazing way to honor your friendships. Having two maids of honor – or even two best men! – is going to make your wedding day that much more special.
So ask both of them, and if they say yes focus on having the best time of your life. You only plan to do this once. So make sure you have everyone you love by your side for every moment.
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