You’re planning your perfect wedding when, all of a sudden, you find out your cousin is having a wedding just two weeks apart. How rude of them! Are they actually being rude, or is it acceptable for family members to have weddings so close together? Is there a rule as to how far apart family weddings should be?
The general rule is that family weddings should be at least one month apart. However, there are numerous factors that you should consider. For example, the financial restraint for your guests and the venue of the weddings. All in all, you should always plan the wedding spaced as much apart as possible and keep everyone informed.
In this article, I’ll mention some things you should consider when there are family weddings close to one another. And if having weddings scheduled close together is rude. Read on to avoid family drama if you’re trying to find your perfect wedding date!
Multiple Family Weddings: What You Need To Consider
So, what should you do if there’s a family member who decides to have a wedding in a few weeks or months apart from you? Is that super inconsiderate and rude? How should you deal with those family members?
Well, there are many things you should consider in those kinds of situations. First of all, you can’t really tell other people when to have their own weddings. After all, everybody gets their special day. Therefore, there’s no hard-and-fast rule to follow other than common sense when it comes to your own personal situation.
It can sometimes seem inconsiderate and impractical of family members to have weddings close to each other. Those family members who have their wedding first might be considered “stealing the spotlight” for those whose weddings come after. Especially if the later wedding was planned first. That’s why it’s best to have the two weddings at least a month apart when you can plan it that way.
Suppose you’re on the other side of this situation. And you’re having a wedding after some other close family member. In that case, you might want to make an effort to make your special day as memorable as possible. If you’re interested to know how to do just that, check my article on 15 ways to make your wedding more memorable.
Let’s take a look at some things you should consider if your family weddings are not that far apart.
Financial Restraints Can Affect Your Guests’ Turn-Out
Weddings are generally an expensive and stressful experience for both the partners and the guests attending. Now, imagine when you have to spend double the money for two family weddings. To make things worse, the weddings are just two weeks apart!
Some family members will have to choose which wedding to attend. In most cases, the wedding that’s first on the schedule will get all the guests. Or the wedding that’s closer to home if one is a destination wedding. So, having at least a month between the weddings could help those family members save some additional money for the second wedding as well.
This is especially important if two siblings are getting married. Usually, parents help their kids financially when they’re getting married. But if there are two weddings, that will be really tough on the parents to afford in one year. For sibling weddings, it is best to space them even further apart than one month. This is because a significant amount of the guest list will overlap.
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The Destination Matters
To make things worse, one family member decides to have a wedding on a tropical island while the other member plans to have their wedding back at home. (Even though their wedding dates are just a few days or weeks apart.)
That means that other guests will have to spend money traveling back and forth to attend both weddings. What usually happens is that guests choose only one wedding to attend because of the huge costs and the impracticality.
Response Cards Can Come in Handy
Response cards are a really useful option for planning a date for the wedding because they can give you a clue if the majority of your guests will attend.
When there are two family weddings not far apart, response cards are essential in deciding if your wedding dates are suitable for everyone or if you need to change them.
Double Wedding Might Be a Good Solution
If you simply don’t mind that the spotlight will be split between you and the other couple, then a double wedding isn’t such a bad idea.
It’ll save you and your guests a ton of money that would otherwise be spent on two separate weddings. After all, you’re all family (or will be after the wedding!), so why not have a wedding together?
Double weddings are also great for guests who live far away. They’ll have to come to the venue only once and not spend hours driving or flying for two weddings.
Having Family Weddings Not Far Apart Isn’t Rude
At the end of the day, every wedding ceremony lasts for a day, not for a week or a month. So, if a family member wants to have their wedding even the day after yours, there’s really not much you can do to stop it.
There’s nothing “rude” about choosing a specific date that’s maybe special to you for some personal reason as your wedding date. If people think that might be rude, they can decide not to attend–which would probably be for the best.
What To Do If Your Wedding is Close To Another Wedding
I have personal experience with this as I have a very large extended family. Many of my cousins were getting married at the same time. I chose to have my wedding the same year and season as one of my first cousins. Here is why.
We got engaged after one of my cousins but before she had sent out any information about her wedding. I didn’t know if I would even be invited or when it was. We tried to be considerate by asking a few close family members when she was planning to have her wedding so I knew which days were out when visiting venues.
Ultimately when booking venues, I had to choose one that was in my budget since we were paying for it ourselves. And one that had available dates.
You can read more about how far in advance you should look at wedding venues here.
While I planned to have my wedding after my cousin’s, the venue we wanted only had dates available before hers. We booked it a month before and some of my extended family wasn’t able to make the trip out for both. I wasn’t offended if people picked my cousin’s wedding since she planned hers first and it was local to my hometown.
So while you can make every effort to be considerate, sometimes you aren’t able to accommodate everyone else’s needs when planning a wedding. And that’s okay!
What About Wedding Etiquette?
Many engaged couples who are planning their wedding hear talk about “wedding etiquette.” If you have multiple family weddings not that far apart, you’ll inevitably get accused of breaking wedding etiquette rules.
The truth is, the date of your wedding and how close it is to your family member’s wedding isn’t controlled by any “wedding rulebook.” There are some conventional and traditional ways that many people follow when it comes to weddings. But nobody will follow every guideline to a tee.
The only wedding etiquette that should be taken into account is the possible inconvenience. Multiple family weddings might impose financial burden on other family members. However, if you have a specific date in mind that’s special for you, or another practical reason for your date, then you should definitely have your wedding as planned.
How Far Apart Should Siblings Get Married?
Siblings or other closer, immediate family should take special care when planning their weddings to not overlap timing.
Siblings, like other family, should get married at least one month apart from each other but different years is best. If siblings’ parents are participating financially in the wedding process, then the dates should be a year apart to make it easier for the parents. It also depends on what the venue is and how close it is.
Work with your parents and siblings to figure out a schedule that works for everyone. It may require a compromise or two but having your own special time to plan and have your wedding is worth it.
This may mean that an older sibling gets married first, you go by who’s been dating longer, or you decide by who got engaged first.
Family weddings can turn into a nightmare when there are two weddings not far apart. So, the best solution is to have at least a month as a “breathing room” for the guests attending both weddings. Anything more than a month is perfect for everybody. But, in the end, your wedding is your own special day, whenever it takes place.
Need additional planning tips? Check out the Loud Bride Wedding Club!